Un mazzo immaginario in cui gli arcani non prendono il nome dalla tradizione Rider-Waite ma dai trope onanisti. Per ogni tarocco, la simbologia così come ci è stata tramandata dai tomi polverosi e un tentativo di rappresentazione grafica fatta dagli amici digitali.
Per la versione Rider-Waite, vedi Tarocchi.
| Arcano | Nome | Persona |
|---|---|---|
| 0 | Il Professore e Stocazzo | Danilo |
| I | Il Drone From Software | Dario |
| II | Il Labirinto Borgesiano | Lele |
| III | I Gatti Non Omonimi | Julia |
| IV | Il Massaggiatore di PIL | Gian |
| V | Il Certamen Siculo | Salvo |
| VII | Git Gud, Casul | Mattia |
| VIII | Il Sogno dei Soldi Facili | Boschi |
| IX | In Isvizzera | Giorgio |
| X | Classic Roboz | Roboz |
| XI | La Piccata Lettera di Protesta | Ceri |
| XII | Il Cucchiaio Non Esiste | Cucchiaio |
| XIV | T R A D I Z I O N A L E | Michele |
| XVI | La Cattiva Fede | Storio |
| XVII | Irene Spiega la Scienza | Irene |
| XVIII | Paurissima | Zangief |
| XIX | L’Istrione di Piana | Ciceri |
| XX | Eh, Ha Ragione | Riccardo |
| XXI | Una o Due Duress | Daniele |
0 — Il Professore e Stocazzo
Non deve uscire, parla da professore e da stocazzo, ed è la voce narrante di queste pagine. Cammina verso il baratro con assoluta fiducia in se stesso.
Tarot card illustration in the style of Rider-Waite-Smith, watercolor and fine ink lines. Danilo, a bearded man in rumpled professor’s robes, stands at the edge of a cliff, one step away from tumbling off. He holds an open book in one raised hand and gestures authoritatively with the other, mid-lecture. His expression is supremely self-confident, utterly unaware of the void before him. Behind him, the sun shines on a map of unexplored rooms labeled “USCIRE.” A small dog at his heels points at the abyss but he ignores it. The lower border of the card reads “IL PROFESSORE E STOCAZZO” in gothic lettering. Ornate medieval decorative border.
I — Il Drone From Software
Letteralmente una dark soul. Fa level shaming e evocation shaming. Sa le volumetrie. Non riesce ad ascoltare i podcast. Drone di PC Gamer, a detta di Zangief.
Tarot card illustration in the style of Rider-Waite-Smith, watercolor and fine ink lines. Dario, a lone armored figure, stands before an altar covered with game controllers, dice, and a rolled map labeled “VOLUMETRIE.” He holds a sword horizontally, blocking the viewer with a dismissive gesture. Behind him, a large fog gate glows ominously orange. Above his head, a small surveillance drone hovers with a red camera eye labeled “PC GAMER.” At his feet, a discarded pair of podcast earphones gathers dust. His visor reveals only stern, judging eyes. The lower border reads “IL DRONE FROM SOFTWARE” in gothic lettering. Ornate medieval decorative border.
II — Il Labirinto Borgesiano
Game designer, amante di Borges e delle briscole. Conosce regole che gli altri non vedono, abita labirinti che gli altri non sanno navigare.
Tarot card illustration in the style of Rider-Waite-Smith, watercolor and fine ink lines. Lele, a hooded figure, is seated on a throne constructed from stacked game rule manuals and labyrinthine maps, some of which loop back on themselves impossibly. He holds a briscola card in one hand and a quill in the other. Behind him, an infinite hexagonal library stretches into darkness in both directions — the Borgesian Library of Babel. The floor is a game board with pieces mid-move. Light falls from unseen windows illuminating only the figure. The lower border reads “IL LABIRINTO BORGESIANO” in gothic lettering. Ornate medieval decorative border.
III — I Gatti Non Omonimi
Ha i tatuaggi frattali omonimi e i gatti non omonimi. Cucina le cose buone. Ora si trova perlopiù su Signal per questioni di privacy.
Tarot card illustration in the style of Rider-Waite-Smith, watercolor and fine ink lines. Julia, a serene woman, sits on a cushioned throne embroidered with cats. Her arms are covered in elaborate fractal tattoo patterns. Three cats recline around her throne; none of them appear to be named after her. On a low table before her rests a beautifully prepared dish. In the upper corner of the card, a Signal messenger logo replaces the classical crescent moon. The background is lush with vegetation. Small padlock icons float as decorative border elements. The lower border reads “I GATTI NON OMONIMI” in gothic lettering. Ornate medieval decorative border.
IV — Il Massaggiatore di PIL
Rampante massaggiatore di PIL, surfista estremo di Varazze, dispensatore di schede di allenamento insostenibili in Onanismo Chad. Lancia ChatGPT in speculazioni geopolitiche con l’orizzonte temporale della Fondazione di Asimov.
Tarot card illustration in the style of Rider-Waite-Smith, watercolor and fine ink lines. Gian, a confident sun-tanned figure in business attire, surfs a giant wave shaped like an upward-trending GDP growth chart. In one raised hand he holds a rolled-up workout schedule labeled “SCHEDA INSOSTENIBILE”; in the other, a phone screen showing a ChatGPT conversation predicting geopolitical events three centuries into the future. Behind him, the sea of Varazze glitters in bright sunlight. Floating around him like satellites: a Foundation book by Asimov, a surfboard, and a GDP bar chart. The lower border reads “IL MASSAGGIATORE DI PIL” in gothic lettering. Ornate medieval decorative border.
V — Il Certamen Siculo
Arbitro di Magic, latinista da certamen, programmatore C, autore della scansione della vita anno per anno. Non ride di molte cose. Si lamenta spesso del contenitore. Sfoggiava un mullet negli anni ‘90.
Tarot card illustration in the style of Rider-Waite-Smith, watercolor and fine ink lines. Salvo, a stern figure, sits on a high-backed papal throne, wearing a judge’s lanyard around his neck printed with “MAGIC: THE GATHERING.” His hair is styled in a solemn but unmistakable 1990s mullet. He holds a battered Latin grammar book in one hand and raises the other in a silencing gesture. Before him, two petitioners kneel: one holding a YouTube thumbnail with an exaggerated preview face, the other holding a podcast earpiece — both appear to be apologizing. On the floor at his feet, a scroll reads “ANNO PER ANNO.” The lower border reads “IL CERTAMEN SICULO” in gothic lettering. Ornate medieval decorative border.
VII — Git Gud, Casul
Virtuoso di ogni possibile soulslike, casul-shamer e chad professionista. Ha battuto tutto quello che gli è capitato a tiro.
Tarot card illustration in the style of Rider-Waite-Smith, watercolor and fine ink lines. Mattia, a triumphant young warrior, stands in a chariot made of fused game controllers and circuit boards. He holds two swords crossed victoriously above his head. Behind him, a trail of defeated FromSoftware bosses litter the ground, including the recognizable multi-armed winged form of Malenia. The chariot is pulled by two fantastical beasts: one labeled “CHAD” (powerful, golden-maned), the other labeled “CASUL” (small, ashamed, trailing behind). His breastplate bears the engraved inscription “GIT GUD.” The lower border reads “GIT GUD, CASUL” in gothic lettering. Ornate medieval decorative border.
VIII — Il Sogno dei Soldi Facili
Vegetariano e palestrato. Vorrebbe essere ricco senza lavorare. Fa le cose in ferrovia. Ha un Raspberry Pi che probabilmente non ha mai configurato.
Tarot card illustration in the style of Rider-Waite-Smith, watercolor and fine ink lines. Boschi, a powerfully built, bare-armed figure, wrestles and restrains a large golden lion labeled “RENDITA PASSIVA.” He wears a railway worker’s badge but his gaze is fixed on a distant gleaming mansion visible on the horizon. At his feet: a protein shake, a tray of vegetables, and a Raspberry Pi still in its unopened box gathering dust. The lion struggles but is being held at bay through sheer vegetarian stubbornness. The lower border reads “IL SOGNO DEI SOLDI FACILI” in gothic lettering. Ornate medieval decorative border.
IX — In Isvizzera
È in Isvizzera. Non c’è altro da aggiungere.
Tarot card illustration in the style of Rider-Waite-Smith, watercolor and fine ink lines. Giorgio, a lone hooded pilgrim, stands on a snow-capped Alpine peak, holding a lantern aloft against a dark and starless sky. The mountain peaks around him bear Swiss cantonal coats of arms. The lantern illuminates not a path forward but a piece of paper he holds in his other hand, reading simply “IN ISVIZZERA.” His posture is calm, content, and utterly unreachable. Far below, tiny figures look upward and shrug. The lower border reads “IN ISVIZZERA” in gothic lettering. Ornate medieval decorative border.
X — Classic Roboz
Ex DJ (la ruota gira), giocatore di Magic con carte costosissime. Classicamente Roboz.
Tarot card illustration in the style of Rider-Waite-Smith, watercolor and fine ink lines. A great spinning wheel dominates the card, its rim decorated alternately with vinyl record grooves and Magic: The Gathering card art. At the top of the wheel sits Roboz, a grinning figure in oversized DJ headphones. Creature tokens from Magic cards ride the wheel’s spokes, rising and falling as it turns. Gold coins labeled “CARTE COSTOSISSIME” fly outward from the spinning rim. At the bottom of the wheel, a small discarded DJ mixer gathers dust. The lower border reads “CLASSIC ROBOZ” in gothic lettering. Ornate medieval decorative border.
XI — La Piccata Lettera di Protesta
Lavora al comune di Stella. Ha ucciso Malenia con mouse e tastiera. Tollera frame rate imbarazzanti senza battere ciglio. Scrive piccate lettere di protesta.
Tarot card illustration in the style of Rider-Waite-Smith, watercolor and fine ink lines. Ceri, a formal figure, sits behind a municipal administrative desk. He holds balanced scales: on one side, a computer mouse and keyboard rest; on the other, the ethereal defeated form of Malenia, Blade of Miquella, sinks toward the ground. In his free hand, a quill writes a letter bearing the words “PICCATA LETTERA DI PROTESTA.” A framed certificate on the wall reads “COMUNE DI STELLA.” A monitor in the background displays a game running at 15 FPS; Ceri appears completely unbothered. The lower border reads “LA PICCATA LETTERA DI PROTESTA” in gothic lettering. Ornate medieval decorative border.
XII — Il Cucchiaio Non Esiste
Il nickname risale alla formula IRC di Danilo (“il cucchiaio non esiste”) che Fabio confutò dimostrando, appunto, l’esistenza del cucchiaio. Viene dal nord, porta i suoi piatti e poi se ne torna a casa.
Tarot card illustration in the style of Rider-Waite-Smith, watercolor and fine ink lines. Cucchiaio, a serene figure, hangs upside-down from a beam made of stacked IRC chat logs. His expression is peaceful and self-assured. In his outstretched hand, he holds a gleaming silver spoon — its existence undeniable and luminous. Around him float fragments of 1990s IRC text: “il cucchiaio non esiste.” In the background, a doorway opens onto a northern Italian landscape; a packed bag waits by the door and a traditional home-cooked dish rests on the table. A subtle halo of light surrounds the spoon. The lower border reads “IL CUCCHIAIO NON ESISTE” in gothic lettering. Ornate medieval decorative border.
XIV — T R A D I Z I O N A L E
Baluardo della focaccia senza pomodorini e di tutto ciò che è tradizionale. Niente eccessi, niente pomodori sopra la focaccia.
Tarot card illustration in the style of Rider-Waite-Smith, watercolor and fine ink lines. Michele, an angelic figure with symmetrical, measured pose, stands between two stone tablets. From a silver pitcher on the left, olive oil flows onto a classic, plain Ligurian focaccia. The right tablet displays a focaccia covered in pomodorini, marked with a bold red diagonal line. Michele’s robes are embroidered with the word “TRADIZIONALE” in widely-spaced letters. Behind, the Ligurian Riviera glows in warm afternoon light. Basil plants and olive branches frame the composition. The lower border reads “T R A D I Z I O N A L E” in gothic lettering. Ornate medieval decorative border.
XVI — La Cattiva Fede
Praticamente un hacker in cattiva fede. Il suo soprannome fu coniato da Ciceri. Alcuni suoi studenti hanno notato una somiglianza con l’omino di Minecraft.
Tarot card illustration in the style of Rider-Waite-Smith, watercolor and fine ink lines. A thunderbolt strikes a tall tower constructed from layered forum posts, IRC scrolls, and political argument threads. From the tower’s windows tumble two figures: one in a suit labeled “BUONA FEDE,” the other in a dark hoodie with a terminal window open on his laptop. Atop the tower stands Storio, a blocky, pixelated figure with a perfectly square head — unmistakably Minecraft-proportioned — arms raised against the storm, completely unruffled. The cornerstone of the tower bears the engraving “STORIO.” The lower border reads “LA CATTIVA FEDE” in gothic lettering. Ornate medieval decorative border.
XVII — Irene Spiega la Scienza
Biotecnologa agroindustriale. Spiega la scienza in una chat di nerd informatici. Condivide lunghi video YouTube e li commenta. Sa cosa fare dopo la Data di scadenza. A tempo perso, moglie di Danilo.
Tarot card illustration in the style of Rider-Waite-Smith, watercolor and fine ink lines. Irene, a luminous woman, stands beneath a starry sky where eight large stars form a scientific DNA double-helix pattern overhead. She pours from two vessels: one labeled “OGM,” the other labeled “DATA DI SCADENZA.” Below her feet, a circle of confused IT professionals sit at laptops, heads tilted upward in wonder. In the background, a giant YouTube play button radiates golden light like a second sun. Irene’s hair flows freely, her expression serene and authoritative. The lower border reads “IRENE SPIEGA LA SCIENZA” in gothic lettering. Ornate medieval decorative border.
XVIII — Paurissima
Ha paurissima per le ragioni più disparate. Frequenta Rule 34 e WikiFeet. La sua faccina è 😐; quella ancora più intima è 🫥, il cui significato «devi sentirlo».
Tarot card illustration in the style of Rider-Waite-Smith, watercolor and fine ink lines. Zangief, a lone figure, stands in a swampy moonlit clearing, holding a phone screen up toward the moon. The moon’s face bears the expression ”😐.” Around him, an array of fears materialize from shadow: a QuickTime logo, a mushroom cluster, a Slenderman-proportioned figure with impossibly elongated limbs, a can of affettati in aspic, a live-action Zelda promotional still, an open WikiFeet browser tab. In the upper corners of the card, two howling figures: one dog, one wolf. In the moon’s outer halo, a second subtle face shows ”🫥.” The lower border reads “PAURISSIMA” in gothic lettering. Ornate medieval decorative border.
XIX — L’Istrione di Piana
Creatore morale delle chat onaniste. Istrione di Piana, uomo dal multiforme ingegno. Ama le briscole, David Lynch e i maglioni natalizi improbabili. Al momento è sparito, ma le carte lo ricordano.
Tarot card illustration in the style of Rider-Waite-Smith, watercolor and fine ink lines. Ciceri, a radiant, theatrical figure, dances in a sun-drenched village square labeled “PIANA.” He wears a garish, over-festive Christmas sweater and holds a briscola deck in one hand and a David Lynch film poster in the other. Two children play in the foreground, oblivious. Ciceri’s figure is subtly translucent, slightly spectral — present but already somehow receding. The sun behind him blazes impossibly bright. Footprints in the dusty piazza lead to his feet and simply stop. The lower border reads “L’ISTRIONE DI PIANA” in gothic lettering. Ornate medieval decorative border.
XX — Eh, Ha Ragione
Teorico della Filosofia iperbolica e della Logica infinita. Distilla cento variabili in cinque. Dopo ogni sua arringa, l’interlocutore non può fare altro se non dire: «Eh, ha ragione.» Emoji di riferimento: 😑.
Tarot card illustration in the style of Rider-Waite-Smith, watercolor and fine ink lines. Riccardo, a self-assured figure, rises from a great open tome labeled “FILOSOFIA IPERBOLICA,” arms outstretched, face wearing an expression of supreme self-satisfaction with the faintest edge of sarcasm. Below, a crowd of figures all point upward simultaneously, faces showing the dawning realization of reluctant agreement — mouths slightly open, eyebrows raised. Above Riccardo, a giant 😑 emoji hovers where the traditional angel would be. Two further 😑 emojis float symmetrically at either side. In the background, towering stacks of dusty tomes labeled “TOMI POLVEROSI” remain unopened. The lower border reads “EH, HA RAGIONE” in gothic lettering. Ornate medieval decorative border.
XXI — Una o Due Duress
Ingegnere chimico che fa cose con la sicurezza. Ex Magic di quelli seri: rimuginava per giornate sul Drago Divoramondo, meditando se inserire una o due Duress. Ora gioca ad Atlantide, come molti altri.
Tarot card illustration in the style of Rider-Waite-Smith, watercolor and fine ink lines. Daniele, a pensive figure in a scholar’s robe, sits at a cluttered desk. Before him, two identical black-bordered trading cards labeled “DURESS” are laid side by side; he stares at them with the focused intensity of someone who has been thinking about this for days. In one hand he holds a chemistry Erlenmeyer flask; behind him, a large fantasy dragon with an impossibly wide maw coils among chemical process diagrams and security certification seals. A half-built card deck spills across the desk. The lower border reads “UNA O DUE DURESS” in gothic lettering. Ornate medieval decorative border.